I was a smart ass way before I learned about 'reality creation'.

Have you ever noticed - the more adamant someone is about their opinion, the easier it is push their buttons by simply agreeing with them?

When I was a kid and someone would attempt to sway me with their opinion, I would simply respond in a nonchalant and dismissive manner muttering, “If You Say So” and then stand back and watch their ego flex.  Boom.  Fireworks.

Some of my proudest moments as a comedian weren't even on stage. Watching people basically short circuit when you agree with them might be one of life's juiciest pleasures. I didn't fully realize the power of it until a couple of years ago.

Be careful who you agree with.

With this in mind, it's important to remember that the world itself is always in that position toward us. The world's relationship to us is reflecting our cause and will always deliver the effect we choose.

The world has no choice. She loves you so much and will always support you no matter what. If you tell her that nothing ever goes your way, even if it breaks her heart, she has no choice but to agree and give you exactly what you requested from her.

“As you wish, my sweet”. The mirror never stops reflecting our attitude to it. In a practical sense, the observer observes whatever he or she wishes to observe about the world. We project, the world reflects.... IF YOU SAY SO!

What are you telling yourself about the world? Are you allowing other people's ideas and opinions to influence yours?

Nothing could be more dangerous.

Now this could seem woo-woo or mystical on the surface but it's really not. I'm not telling you to argue with gravity. As Vadim established in the First Chapter, materialism and idealism are both half true. Meaning: there is no single philosophy which contains all the answers (not even Transurfing).

Those who believe whole-heartedly one particular philosophy will perceive confirmation bias about it constantly.

I grew up a Christian in the Pentecostal Church and I saw plenty of evidence for Jesus during my tenure there. Then I became an objectivist and those ideals were reflected back to me as I dismissed anything that went against my worldview with a 'healthy skepticism'. Later I got into Hermetic Magic and witnessed strange occurrences frequently, confirming the existence of ghosts, angels and the power of ritual.

Whatever we think about the world is confirmed over and over again. So much of spirituality and self-help is really about using confirmation bias to our ADVANTAGE. The advantage is NOT in the situation itself but in our response to it. In our belief about the world.

In everything we get, it's because WE SAY SO.

It's for this reason that our attitude and environment is absolutely critical to cultivate and maintain. When other's views about reality influence yours, you'll begin to say so too. Sometimes it's better to be a smart ass.

Dismiss whatever beliefs don't serve you, regardless of the meme of du jour. One man's thought is another's toxin.

The mirror will always reflect the image. It has no choice. But you do.

How can you put yourself at the cause of the world you want to see?

Let me know!

There's a smart way and a stupid way to play this game.

There is a flow of options that is always moving and we are free to choose whatever we'd like from it.

We can't see it with our minds but we can FEEL it with our hearts.

Water always flows downhill. Nature has her own way and balance will always be established. We either learn this lesson or get CRUSHED by it OVER and OVER and OVER again. If you've been crushed by it, Congratulations! You might be as stubborn as I am, but underneath that "clever" mind of yours, you are perfect.

Absolutely perfect. This isn't a riddle.

Your heart is perfect and it's connected directly to infinity. It knows exactly where it is and why it came here.

Your heart has its own unique shape and it is connected directly to the ether. Your heart knows. It feels and knows. It doesn't think or speak, it feels and knows.

The mind thinks and speaks- it is always trying to figure out how: rearrange, strategize, mobilize, compute, rationalize... it's trying to get where it wants to go, instead of relaxing, taking the back seat and choosing what comes next from the flow.

It's always trying to be in the driver's seat when its role should be more like a passenger, a navigator who says "turn here!".

Your heart is perfect. It knows where it is and it knows what it wants. Our problem is, we don't let it lead. Instead, we let our minds lead which causes all kinds of resistance and makes our problems even worse.

We have to know where we are in order to know where we are going.

How much do we get ahead of ourselves, with only the awareness of the space we take up and no awareness of the space we are in?

The mind is an incredible steering wheel but the heart is the rudder of the ship. Which has more contact with the water?

Use your heart to identify where you are and where you'd like to go and use your mind to identify the path of least resistance to get there. Nice and easy.

Breathe in deeply and relax. You deserve it. Nature wants to work with you. You're connected directly.  Trust it. 

Bless your perfect little heart, it knows. It doesn't speak, it FEELS and KNOWS. Feel it. Focus on your literal heart and feel what it feels like in there- it's your freaking electrical chakra center for godssakes!

It's connected directly to the Source of all things.

It is literally A PARTICLE of GOD.

Your mind is connected to the heart and to the physical reality but not directly to source. Love your heart with all your mind and listen to what it tells you! Do this and they will work together to give you exactly what you came here for!

Your heart's desire is your birthright. Allow yourself to feel your heart.

Let the soul butter drip down the inside of your chest and listen. It's good for you!

Just one question: What does it feel like when you allow yourself to feel your heart?

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!

Do you need to know how an iron ship floats in the ocean to take a cruise?

Do you have to understand the physics of lift to board an airplane?

Do you need to understand how a text message travels through space and is decoded from one phone to another to read it?

I hope not. If we needed to understand how these phenomena worked in order to experience them, only a very small portion of the human population would enjoy the privilege of these seemingly magical experiences.

I know I want to come see you.  So I buy a ticket, get inside a tin can and in a few hours I am hugging your neck. I don't need to understand, I only need to KNOW it's possible. That is all that is required.

I don't have to build the plane, fly the plane, maintain the plane.  I just need to let it rain all the way to Spain. I know I will arrive there and that is enough to get me there.

If someone presented a bike to you but you had never seen anyone ride one, you wouldn't know it was possible to ride.

So it is with the mysterious force of outer intention.

Very often our minds grapple with how we are going to achieve our goal, a constant thought loop of doubt and troubleshooting runs in the back of our minds attempting to decode the complicated scenarios that lead us to our goal. How will it happen? 

We build sophisticated models in our head of all the causes and effects and, ironically, we can't begin to fathom the multitude of infinite variables that most certainly have to be conquered in order to get to our goal. It's exhausting.

We tinker in our heads, wondering just exactly how A will lead to B will lead to C and on and on until ultimately we talk ourselves out of what we wanted in the first place. Our heart was forced to give up its toy because the mind decided it wasn't possible to receive.

The mind simply couldn't understand how it would happen. Even though it accepts many things into its reality that it doesn't understand simply because it KNOWS that the outcomes are possible.

I can't tell you how to ride a bike. But we both know you can. Imagine the feeling you felt when you sat on a bike for the first time, you knew it was possible to ride, you had seen other people do it but you didn't know HOW you were going to.

As you sit at the handlebars, you feel the butterflies of excitement and wrestle with three forces: Doubt, Desire and Control.

None of these forces will help you balance the bike, in fact, each one of them is likely to make you topple over when all seemed to be going well.

You start off on the bike as Dad is pushing you- you know somehow it's working, you're secure and comfortable until you look back and Dad's not pushing you anymore. Now what?! Dad's not in control anymore so what do you do?!

Your mind begins grasping for solutions and tells you you need to do something even though a second ago you were doing nothing and the bike was balanced perfectly.

You doubt that you could be riding the bike yourself, struggle for control and desire to keep the bike upright, forcing the handlebars to one side and CRASHING into the ground.

Dad laughs. He loves you. Then he tells you You Did IT!!!!

He celebrates. You don't know how to react because you felt as if you did nothing but freak out and crash.  But he proceeds to tell you that you went all the way down the street before you looked back. He actually wasn't there most of the time you were riding, and you did it all by yourself!

Your mind was at ease. It wasn't wondering how, it let go of the variables and grip of control that so often plagues it and instead allowed the heart to enjoy its ride.

The two elements were in unity, as the mind was the calm navigator and the heart led. After a few more attempts, you're off and riding the bike with perfect balance. Sure, there's a crash here and there as you develop your skills but look how far you've come!

So it is with outer intention. GIVE UP THE STRUGGLE and allow the heart to lead the way. Let the mind rest and take up its role as the calm navigator.

Over time, the mind will learn and it will KNOW that it is possible to ride the wind of outer intention. You'll begin to develop your skill with practice over time and eventually become a master.

Apples will fall to the sky because the mind will KNOW that it's not only possible, that's just what apples do.

It's not about faith, or belief or even confidence. It's about knowledge.

Knowing that outer intention is there for you, guiding you with balance. Every situation is an opportunity to choose balance. There is a positive and a negative potential in every case.

Choose the positive because you KNOW you can. Over time, you'll get better at making that choice and soon it will become automatic.

Laws vs. Rules

The landscape we currently face is unprecedented and wildly unpredictable. Reality may appear to bend, but it will never break. Laws are not the same as rules. They are yet another paradox and are becoming more glaring as these contradictions reveal themselves.

Several months ago, I was depressed. I had just come off of a cruise ship working with the Impractical Jokers, and I got to do stand-up on the same stage as some of my heroes. I had a successful Airbnb business that allowed me to travel and freelance whenever I wanted to, while doing open mics.

We were even going to open a comedy club in my hometown! It was EPIC.

I was Transurfing and it was clear that my world took care of me. Then in March, while I was working as a producer on a Netflix show...... Corona.

This began a descent into the doldrums for me. I didn't want this to be my reality so I fought it. Hard. Which only served to make it worse. I found myself watching fear porn documentaries on youtube all day and eating ice cream before the sun went down.

We lost our Airbnb business and I didn't know what to do for income. I had to deal with some legal issues that were frustratingly unjust. I thought it was all over for me.

I felt like I had disconnected a lifeline that was supporting me only to find myself in a dystopian nightmare. It took several weeks to cope and to accept the situation.

The Five Steps of Grieving are;

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Depression

4. Bargaining

5. Acceptance

You may wonder what this has to do with Transurfing, cause it's not in the book. Before I reveal what this has to do with Transurfing, I want to tell you that it's ok. It's ok to have a breakdown. It's ok to get depressed. It's ok to feel like the world is collapsing in on itself. That is part of the process of acceptance.

Toxic positivity doesn't work. Pretending that something is ok when it's not is lying to ourselves, and it's NOT HEALTHY. It's important (even critical) to be able to accept reality in order to heal, and that means going through the five steps of grieving – no matter who you are.

I needed to lay on the couch, eat ice cream and gain 20 pounds to see that the path I was on before was really not serving my purpose. It was shiny and exciting but something was missing. That something is you.

I wasn't connecting to the people I needed to connect with. I was avoiding my purpose by trying to be a personality and developing some egoic idea of myself instead of connecting to the people in my life I could really share with.

After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself and dragging my feet through the five stages of grief, I was able to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to work. I started writing a book to distill the ideas that I've learned over the past eight years. I began putting something together that could help other people discover what took me so long to synthesize (It will be coming out in April).

As soon as I began that project, I found out about Richard Grove's Autonomy program. I immediately signed up for a discovery call even though I knew I couldn't afford it. Two days after that, I got a call from my friend on the Netflix show letting me know we were about to have six more weeks of work and a big payday!

This December, I graduated from Autonomy and thanks to the connections I've made in that course I am not only putting out a book, but also an entire program focused on helping people discover and implement their purpose in life. I love helping people. I love connecting with you.

I want to see you happy and fulfilled in your life. That fulfills my purpose! And it took me going through a dark, downward spiral to realize that.

The world doesn't work the way we think it should. Our minds think they know better, that the world should conform to our standards. And when we think we've been abandoned, she's just offering a better way.

It may sound trite or cheesy, but there is ALWAYS an ADVANTAGE. This doesn't mean to put your head in the sand and ignore the harshness of reality. But don't feel bad for feeling bad, either.

We all go through dark and difficult times and those are the moments that make us. We can even break and still make it. But understanding the advantage principle, finding an advantage in every situation is what allows the world to begin to move toward us and take care of us, no matter how bleak the landscape.

The Devil says “For every failure there is a seed of an equivalent advantage.”

We just have to look for it.

Ask yourself, what could be the potential advantage in the reality you face?

For me, it was to connect to you, and to begin working with people whom I share deep values with.

It sure beats the hell out of changing pee sheets for my Airbnb! And I'll do stand-up again, in fact – I'm putting out sketches on the reg and having a great time doing it. I'm meeting more and more people who are interested in comedy and I have a script in development. So DON'T LOSE HOPE. Or do, you can get it back!  

Find the advantage in the situation without being a toxic fairy.

I'd love to hear your story. Where are you now compared to where you were before 2020? What advantages have you found in this dumpster fire we all find ourselves in?

Thanks so much for connecting with me and taking the time to listen. I can't wait to hear your reply!

Tip #1 – Observe the Game
 

Transurfing is a methodology that mirrors a lot of mystical works and gives a model to the video game controller of reality itself. Each one of us is a game player here in this reality and we have the choice as to whether we actively play the game or let the game play us.

Everything in spirituality is a zen riddle. It's incredibly annoying but it's true. To resolve the paradox, it's necessary to first dissect it. Duality is a seemingly contradictory ever present truth. Once we can observe its game of hide and seek, we can begin to elevate ourselves above it and ultimately use it to our advantage.

Based on duality, think of this game as Collective Individualism. It's an oxy-moron - we're “ALL ONE” but we're also “ALL SEPERATE”. Of course we are each part of The ALL but we are also unique individuals which is something that is often forgotten, oversimplified and used to manipulate and gaslight us with guilt, duty and a sense of obligation to conform.

It is critical to understand these two polarized truths. On the one hand we are one with everything and everyone but ironically the way to dive into connection with the world around us lies in our capacity to explore the uniqueness of our own soul.

Each and every one of us has special and unique qualities and we are all here for a purpose. The noise in the background, the mental chatter and social conditioning tell us that we are insignificant--that we should simply go along with what is generally agreed upon and let that be it.

But everyone who takes this approach is being played. They're trapped in the video game without a controller.

Once we understand the nature of the dualistic game and learn to observe it, we can literally transcend it and it won't affect us from our bird's eye view. We get to be the observer on the couch with the remote control and the character in the video game having the experience at the same time.

Each and every one of us has the choice as to whether we react directly to our environment or if we stop, reflect and become proactive. This is the riddle of choice.

We are always choosing in every moment and while it seems like some of what happens to us is predetermined (it is), it is also obvious that we have a choice in relation to what happens (we always do).

The riddle of choice hinges on duality and I will go further into some of the obstacles to our choice as we go along.

The first tip here in this series is to STOP and OBSERVE yourself. Take a breath. Relax and become the observer of the video game. This can only be mastered through practice.

Once we learn to implement this technique and stay observant to the moment, THEN we can begin to shift the predetermined script. Because what is happening to us now was determined in the past and our only choice in regard to it is how we react. Once we learn to master this ability, we will begin to use it to shape the future and customize the script.

First, we must become the observer and learn to have perspective from outside the video game, while we're playing in it.

Here are 5 Tips to try to help you remember to observe:

1. Set a reminder that goes off every once and a while.
 

2. Ask yourself if you're dreaming throughout your day.
 

3. Focus on a particular body part (for me it's my heart, some people like the tip of the nose).
 

4. Wear jewelry or an item that reminds you to wake up and be the observer.
 

5. Get a face tattoo and take a lot of selfies.

These are just some ideas so now I'd like to ask you - what are some tips and tricks YOU might use to help yourself remember to observe?

Write me back and share your thoughts by simply responding to this email!
(this is not an autoresponder).

Oh, and while you're at it, let me know if you'd be interested in joining a Transurfing Q and A zoom call if I hosted one at the end of the week (probably Saturday and I won't be asking for money).

If so, I'll schedule one and let you know about it in our next email which I will be sending out Thursday.

Have a wonderful day! Love is all there is.