Laws vs. Rules
The landscape we currently face is unprecedented and wildly unpredictable. Reality may appear to bend, but it will never break. Laws are not the same as rules. They are yet another paradox and are becoming more glaring as these contradictions reveal themselves.
Several months ago, I was depressed. I had just come off of a cruise ship working with the Impractical Jokers, and I got to do stand-up on the same stage as some of my heroes. I had a successful Airbnb business that allowed me to travel and freelance whenever I wanted to, while doing open mics.
We were even going to open a comedy club in my hometown! It was EPIC.
I was Transurfing and it was clear that my world took care of me. Then in March, while I was working as a producer on a Netflix show...... Corona.
This began a descent into the doldrums for me. I didn't want this to be my reality so I fought it. Hard. Which only served to make it worse. I found myself watching fear porn documentaries on youtube all day and eating ice cream before the sun went down.
We lost our Airbnb business and I didn't know what to do for income. I had to deal with some legal issues that were frustratingly unjust. I thought it was all over for me.
I felt like I had disconnected a lifeline that was supporting me only to find myself in a dystopian nightmare. It took several weeks to cope and to accept the situation.
The Five Steps of Grieving are;
You may wonder what this has to do with Transurfing, cause it's not in the book. Before I reveal what this has to do with Transurfing, I want to tell you that it's ok. It's ok to have a breakdown. It's ok to get depressed. It's ok to feel like the world is collapsing in on itself. That is part of the process of acceptance.
Toxic positivity doesn't work. Pretending that something is ok when it's not is lying to ourselves, and it's NOT HEALTHY. It's important (even critical) to be able to accept reality in order to heal, and that means going through the five steps of grieving – no matter who you are.
I needed to lay on the couch, eat ice cream and gain 20 pounds to see that the path I was on before was really not serving my purpose. It was shiny and exciting but something was missing. That something is you.
I wasn't connecting to the people I needed to connect with. I was avoiding my purpose by trying to be a personality and developing some egoic idea of myself instead of connecting to the people in my life I could really share with.
After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself and dragging my feet through the five stages of grief, I was able to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to work. I started writing a book to distill the ideas that I've learned over the past eight years. I began putting something together that could help other people discover what took me so long to synthesize (It will be coming out in April).
As soon as I began that project, I found out about Richard Grove's Autonomy program. I immediately signed up for a discovery call even though I knew I couldn't afford it. Two days after that, I got a call from my friend on the Netflix show letting me know we were about to have six more weeks of work and a big payday!
This December, I graduated from Autonomy and thanks to the connections I've made in that course I am not only putting out a book, but also an entire program focused on helping people discover and implement their purpose in life. I love helping people. I love connecting with you.
I want to see you happy and fulfilled in your life. That fulfills my purpose! And it took me going through a dark, downward spiral to realize that.
The world doesn't work the way we think it should. Our minds think they know better, that the world should conform to our standards. And when we think we've been abandoned, she's just offering a better way.
It may sound trite or cheesy, but there is ALWAYS an ADVANTAGE. This doesn't mean to put your head in the sand and ignore the harshness of reality. But don't feel bad for feeling bad, either.
We all go through dark and difficult times and those are the moments that make us. We can even break and still make it. But understanding the advantage principle, finding an advantage in every situation is what allows the world to begin to move toward us and take care of us, no matter how bleak the landscape.
The Devil says “For every failure there is a seed of an equivalent advantage.”
We just have to look for it.
Ask yourself, what could be the potential advantage in the reality you face?
For me, it was to connect to you, and to begin working with people whom I share deep values with.
It sure beats the hell out of changing pee sheets for my Airbnb! And I'll do stand-up again, in fact – I'm putting out sketches on the reg and having a great time doing it. I'm meeting more and more people who are interested in comedy and I have a script in development. So DON'T LOSE HOPE. Or do, you can get it back!
Find the advantage in the situation without being a toxic fairy.
I'd love to hear your story. Where are you now compared to where you were before 2020? What advantages have you found in this dumpster fire we all find ourselves in?
Thanks so much for connecting with me and taking the time to listen. I can't wait to hear your reply!